一、為何來同光如何來
我是在搬到中和新房子的隔一年，大概2002年的10月來到同光，所以至今已經穩定在同光教會有23年多了。
我跟當時多數的人來同光的原因似乎不太一樣，我並沒有在台北原來母會受到任何的打壓。且因為我曾在母會當過社青的會長，在還未來到同光前，我曾邀請楊雅惠牧師到我母會社青團契做過認識同性戀的專講，當時母會的一些長執都還有來參加並有些發問討論，整體氛圍算蠻友善的。當時自己在母會也有許多服事，牧師長執及兄弟姐妹對我都很照顧，還介紹相親了不少對象，但好幾次在同工會或禱告會想分享情感面都卡住了，自己內在真實情感仍不敢放膽表露，無法做真實的自己。故藉著搬家理由脫離母會，暗自下決心要來同光並可服事需要的族群。
二、在同光的特別時刻與經驗
剛來同光時第一印象的感覺就是平均年齡層較一般教會年輕個20~30歲，且男生比女生多，有點像回到學生團契的感覺，年輕有活力且人才濟濟，男的媚女的帥。哈，還曾被一位弟兄的媚眼電到過阿。
來同光後的四、五年裡，很深刻忘不了的影像就是聖誕晚會，大約在2003～2008年及2010年吧，每年聖誕晚會的盛大精采，大概70,80人的同工會友要參與投入可容納300 、400人的晚會會場，曾在臺大,台北市議會,台北車站等會議廳大禮堂舉辦過。真是佩服負責的長執同工群，我雖然多只是參與走動唱詩，或小角色演出，或關懷陪談等，但每次大夥兒盡心盡力撥出時間的努力練習，當天還有化妝同工的熱心協助，一起同工綻放美麗感動的成果，真的很棒！
另外不得不談的，就是進入長執團隊的事奉。說到長執團隊對許多還未進入的人可能有許多的害怕，覺得就是進去做事然後被駡的？！在準備這分享前我還特地去翻以前的硬碟紀錄，天啊，幾乎陷入往事差點出不來。年紀漸長很多時間點人物事件等容易混淆，好在有真確的歷史紀錄，可快速回憶起往日各種會議事件種種。
想當初2004年在禮拜中上主明確回應自己，總覺得自己何德何能可承擔重擔，祂呼召感動我出來候選長老，別害怕自己的不足，祂必帶領。至今回望，2005曾牧師離任的風波、2006楊牧師及2007張傳道聘任過程的分歧衝突，甚至2008年楊牧師的自我離別，還有當年建堂小組的破局，似乎都掀起不小的對立或局部分裂出走。但小會長執團隊也成就了大大小小的先例壯舉，譬如同志遊行的領頭羊、2008年協會成立納入合法財務運作、發表10週年及20週年見證書籍、2007- 2019年參與同性婚姻推動，乃至最後不可思議的開花結果通過了。在曾牧師離開後，後續隔了8年等到了2014年，在意外的契機下，我們又終於有了第三任黃牧師的帶領，直到2020年。至於後續教會的軌跡就有賴接棒的長老及小恩傳道來分享書寫了。
講了這麼多過去重大衝突或歷史，我只能說感恩。在服事團隊中，有經驗的前輩給你好的指引參考，有能力的同工給你好的規劃構想，贊成順服的人給你好的執行力，反對的人讓你思考看見不同的面向。
我也曾經在主持會議中，百思不得其解，為何多數人贊同的議案，就是有一兩個人極力反對找碴，那段日子有時真懷疑人生，自認為算溫和包容的個性還是會遇到阻礙。後來我剛好有小組姐妹的介紹參加了一個修女辦的家庭重塑好幾年，漸漸明瞭到人受制先天家庭父母影響甚大，多數人總是承襲這些認為理所當然的慣性行為與思考，如何擺脫一些負面的溝通表達，真的要不斷有意識的去學習改善。
三、結尾
最後，我要感恩上帝帶領我來同光，可以自在真實的做自己，特別我非常喜歡在小組裡，(本來還想分享自己兩次大手術住院，享受小組VIP般的照顧陪伴，但囿於時間，就待以後有機會再聊了)。小組裡縱使大家個性不盡相同，難免互相有白目幼稚說錯話得罪人的時候，但因著主的愛，讓我們成為無法挑選的家人，可以互相陪伴，互相修正，互相療癒，我相信這一切都因為上主在我們當中。
I. Why and How I Came to Tong-Kwang
I moved to my new house in Zhonghe, and the following year—around October 2002—I came to Tong-Kwang. Consequently, I have been a steady member of the Tong-Kwang Church for over 23 years now.
My reason for coming to Tong-Kwang seemed somewhat different from most people at the time; I had not experienced any oppression or marginalization at my original home church in Taipei. In fact, because I had served as the president of the Young Adult Fellowship there, I had invited Pastor Yang Ya-hui to give a special lecture on understanding homosexuality before I even joined Tong-Kwang. At the time, several elders and deacons from my home church attended and engaged in Q&A; the overall atmosphere was quite friendly. I held many ministry roles there, and the pastors, elders, and fellow brothers and sisters took great care of me—they even set me up on many blind dates! However, every time I wanted to share my emotional life during staff or prayer meetings, I would freeze. I didn’t dare to boldly express my true feelings or live as my authentic self. Therefore, using my move as a reason, I left my home church, privately vowing to come to Tong-Kwang and serve the community in need.
II. Special Moments and Experiences at Tong-Kwang
My first impression of Tong-Kwang was that the average age was about 20 to 30 years younger than a typical church. There were more men than women, which made it feel like being back in a student fellowship—energetic, vibrant, and full of talent. The men were charming and the women were dashing. Ha! I remember once even being “electrified” by a brother’s flirtatious glance.
In my first four or five years at Tong-Kwang, the most unforgettable memories were the Christmas galas. Between roughly 2003–2008 and in 2010, these events were grand and spectacular. About 70 to 80 staff members and congregants would work together to put on a show for a venue that seated 300 to 400 people. We held them in grand halls like those at National Taiwan University, the Taipei City Council, and Taipei Main Station. I truly admire the team of elders and deacons who were in charge. Although I mostly just participated in the choir, played minor roles, or helped with pastoral care and counseling, it was wonderful to see everyone giving their all, practicing tirelessly, and benefiting from the enthusiastic help of the makeup team. Together, as coworkers, we produced beautiful and moving results.
I must also mention my service within the leadership team. Speaking of the leadership team, many who haven’t joined might feel intimidated, thinking it’s just a place where you do work only to get scolded. While preparing this sharing, I actually went through my old hard drive records — goodness, I almost got lost in the memories. As I get older, it’s easy to mix up dates, people, and events. Fortunately, having an accurate historical record allowed me to quickly recall various meetings and incidents.
I remember back in 2004, during a service, the Lord gave me a clear response. I felt unworthy of such a burden, yet He called and moved me to run for the position of Elder. He told me not to fear my inadequacies, for He would lead. Looking back, we weathered the turmoil of Pastor Zeng’s departure in 2005, the conflicts during the hiring process for Pastor Yang in 2006 and Evangelist Chang in 2007, and even Pastor Yang’s personal departure in 2008. There was also the collapse of the building committee that year, all of which seemed to trigger significant opposition or local fractures.
However, the Session (leadership team) also achieved many “firsts” and great feats. For instance, we were the “lead sheep” in the Pride Parade, established the Association in 2008 to legalize our financial operations, published testimony books for our 10th and 20th anniversaries, and participated in the push for marriage equality from 2007 to 2019—which eventually, incredibly, bore fruit and passed. Eight years after Pastor Zeng left, in 2014, through an unexpected opportunity, we finally had our third pastor, Pastor Huang, who led us until 2020. As for the church’s trajectory after that, I will leave that for the succeeding elders and Evangelist Xiao-en to share.
Reflecting on these major past conflicts and history, I can only feel gratitude. In a ministry team, experienced seniors give you sound guidance, capable coworkers provide good planning, those who agree and obey give you execution power, and those who oppose you force you to think and see different perspectives.
I once presided over meetings where I was completely baffled—why would one or two people stubbornly oppose or nitpick a proposal that the majority supported? During that period, I sometimes truly questioned my life choices; I considered myself to have a gentle and inclusive personality, yet I still encountered obstacles. Later, through a recommendation from a sister in my small group, I attended a “Family Reconstruction” workshop led by a nun for several years. I gradually realized that people are heavily influenced by their original families and parents. Most people simply inherit these habitual behaviors and ways of thinking, taking them for granted. To break free from negative communication and expression, one must truly and consciously keep learning to improve.
III. Conclusion
Finally, I want to thank God for leading me to Tong-Kwang, where I can be my true self at ease. I especially love being in my small group. (I originally wanted to share how I received “VIP-level” care and companionship from the group during my two major surgeries, but due to time constraints, I’ll save that for another time.) Even though we all have different personalities in the small group, and there are inevitably times when people are tactless, immature, or say the wrong thing, the Lord’s love makes us a family we didn’t choose. We can accompany, correct, and heal one another. I believe all of this is possible because the Lord is among us.
